Offer. Ask. Receive.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
Galatians 6:2

HELP!!!

As women - especially if you are black - we have been conditioned by society (and some of our families) to ALWAYS be the ones to offer help or be asked to help with something

There is nothing wrong with helping others or being the kind of person that others can rely on.

Offering Help
Are you the helper? The volunteer-er? The server? Helping and serving others is part of what it means to be Christ-like, but running yourself into the ground to do so is not. Ask the Lord what it looks like to discern saying yes or no to opportunities to help and serve. Be honest and ask yourself if you are serving because you feel like no one else will step up, you feel obligated to, or because you genuinely want to serve others and honor God in the process?
Sometimes you will need to serve because no one else is stepping up and it’s needed and honestly, God will bless you for it and grow you in that. But my advice is to only offer to serve in spaces and help people if you genuinely know you won’t do it begrudgingly.

Asking for Help
When was the last time you asked for help? Were you taught that asking for help meant you were weak and incompetent? If so, you are not alone.
Life is also not short of opportunities to be disappointed, so have you ever asked someone for help and they didn’t follow through? Or they showed that they were only doing so out of obligation rather than because they truly cared about you and wanted to help? It doesn’t feel good to need help and have people around you who don’t want to help you. These experiences can then deter us from asking for help when we truly need it.
I want to remind you that there ARE people out there who are happy to help you in your time of need. It may take some time to find those people, but they are out there. And I want to encourage you not to give up searching for those genuine people nor being afraid of being vulnerable and asking for help when you need it.

Receiving Help
Why is it so hard for us to receive help? Because we see it as a sign of weakness, sometimes like we do when we need to ask other for help. And the strong, independent black woman stereotype and persona, it doesn’t benefit us to be seen as needing help.
Maybe we didn’t grow up wanting to receive help because people always expected something back from us, maybe even in the form of payment with our bodies.
In the same way when it comes to asking for help, there ARE people out there who are happy to offer you help with no strings attached in your time of need.
When is the last time you humbly received help from someone and they didn’t expect anything back from you?

REFLECT & APPLY
1. Which of these is the easiest to do? The hardest for you to do?
2. Why do you think it’s difficult for you to offer, ask for, and receive help when it comes to others?
3. What are some practical and spiritual ways you can navigate when you offer help, ask for help, and receive help from others?